Social Gumbo Misfit

I’m still trying to figure what search engine result strategy that missing link blog of the transplanted damnyankee is trying. His subject matter has been all over the socially taboo ladder. It began with gay marriage, on to teen sex, to pubic styling, then Salma Hayek’s breasts were thrown in, although I wouldn’t consider Salma Hayek’s breasts specifically to be socially taboo. Like every other heterosexual male on the planet, I carried a crush on Salma from my first sighting of her, for onwards of a year. Every heterosexual male of age on the planet earth did the same and carries that secret. Reminding them of it is the social taboo. If I have to detail out why, then I will be crossing off taboos worse than the transplanted damnyankee. Of course being a hack artist, I have always appreciated the total beauty of women, Salma Hayek included. That’s common knowledge. But, I digress. Back to the transgression of the transplanted damnyankee. Of all the subjects of bad taste, the transplanted damnyankee has now moved to the subject of gumbo.

Normally, the subject of gumbo is a good thing. Gumbo is Southern stuff, and therefore, good stuff… very good stuff when prepared by someone who has the correct ingredients, knows how to combine them properly, and serves it all up hot. But the guy is actually on about freaking chicken gumbo! That’s just nasty! And it doesn’t even have all of the right ingredients in it! Who gives people the idea that for one, they can cook Southern food and have it turn out anything like a Southern cook’s food? And, two, what makes them think that the insane recipe that the original cook passed off to the damnyankee that thought they were getting an authentic recipe… (I’m starting to giggle) is a… (I’m really beginning to laugh) genuine for sure… (I’m dying laughing here) authentic recipe, as handed down for the past six generations of Southern cooks? (I’m rolling on the floor! Stupid tourists! And, this one stayed!)

Hello people! Let me tell you once and for all. Whatever recipe you got, it ain’t what they cooked for you! If you are a damnyankee transplant, it ain’t even nothing near what you had at the restaurant. Further, what could possibly ever qualify a damnyankee transplant as an expert on Southern foods? I got news for you. If you want authentic gumbo, come South… all the way to the coast! Shrimp gumbo, seafood gumbo, fish gumbo, whatever, even alligator makes good gumbo. But who want’s Tyson Farms force fed, cage raised, chicken gumbo? Who also in their right mind wants gumbo without okra? Is there such a thing as gumbo without okra? Only the kind they feed damnyankees! And that ain’t gumbo!

I won't be providing links to authentic gumbo recipes here. Every coastal town has at least two versions or more of gumbo. But people, let me tell you here and now, ain’t none of it gonna be found on the blog of a transplanted damnyankee. So that did it for good. Some transplanted damnyankee who lives inland (in a state not even known for gumbo) posting some recipe for gumbo as being representative of the best the South has to offer, just tips me over. I’m done, and done. Meanwhile, I’ve found another nice Carolina based blog to link, if the owner is willing. I’ve asked. And, I’m still looking for more to link here. So if you know of a Carolina based blogger, drop me a line and let me know. I enjoy reading them, and well, if a Carolina blog is going to be linked, shouldn’t it be linked from beneath the Carolina moon?

Dread

A Genuine Advantage

A few days back I received my usual Windows Secrets email newsletter from Brian Livingston. It has a most interesting and alarming, but not surprising, article. You can read it here on the web also. http://windowssecrets.com/comp/060615/

Click the link above then scroll down to the article titled "Genuine Advantage is Microsoft Spyware". These writers are some of the most trusted preeminent Windoze experts of the day.

I also read a news piece, just days ago, about the approaching retirement of Bill Gates from MicroShaft. The story was replete with named executives that are to slip into various positions. And there was a whole bunch of hoop de doo about the Melinda Gates Foundation and the work Billiam plans to do there in his retirement from MicroShaft, and all the cash that has already flowed from there for various social engineering efforts.

Nobody seems to get the idea that just because Bill Gates has the brass kahoonas to do something outrageous, that we should let him get away with it. Once a line is crossed, the infringement just continues to creep, and creep, and creep, until the frog boils to death without complaining. I'm awaiting the AOL, Microsoft, Walmart, Pat Robertson, and Shiite Muslim merger to form and butt heads with the Communist China-North Korea consortia. All the Linux geeks will move to northern Europe, western Canada, southern Australia, New Zealand, and the southern tip of South America, to watch the two mega-powers nuke the earth in half across the equator.

I'm not trying to supplant the book of Revelation. I'm just saying that if anyone thinks that Bill Gates' retirement as Chief whip slasher at MicroShaft, to go into full time philanthropy at his Bill and Melinda Social Engineering Organization, is an equivalent of an enlightened and new heart for Bill that will now only think soft, pure, and kind toward your fellow man thoughts, then you better wake up from your fanciful dream. I think the strategy is that with the forays into violating personal privacy and social engineering that MicroShaft has been and likely will be into over the next few years, it was thought better that a new kinder gentler MicroShaft will sell easier without the well known, cold, calculating, icy, hand of Gates on the tiller.

Look for the new warm fuzzy MicroShaft imaging efforts soon after Bill's departure, if not before. Meanwhile, Bill will be sold as the newest celibate initiated monk into the monastery of foundationalism. There he will be cleansed before he returns to MicroShaft... But will he ever? As a major voting shareholder, does he really ever have to? Isn't this whole departure thing just so much image positioning and little else? Isn't it a bit like saying that when George Bush is vacationing on his ranch in Texas that he's not the president and whatever happens during that time at the White House isn't his doing? (recognize the spin strategy?)

But hey, what skin off my teeth is it if Bill Gates wants to call himself retired? I'm sure there must be a "Genuine Advantage" for Microsoft in it somewhere. As for the rest of us, we must find our genuine advantages where we can. I find mine from a point of view, beneath the Carolina moon.

Lost Something or Someone?

I'm amazed at how quickly my mind can loose a thought. At least my mind is quick. I bet I can totally forget a thought quicker than most of my peers! Wait. That's not a good thing is it? If I start getting lost again on my way to work, (yes that's happened, but its been a few years ago) maybe one of you will get me to the doctor. Meanwhile, I'm having fun.

My skitzo-manic boss sent another smart mouth email. I semi-calmly responded. Heh, heh, heh. But, then tromped into his office... the jury may or may not be out for days on outcome... Whatever! I've filed this under the "Hey WHATEVER!" tab. Life goes on.

The one remaining peep that I haven't had a reply from on linkage for the Carolina Blogs list has delved off the edge subject wise to the point that I really don't give a anum rodentum to link the blog anyway. And, besides, he really is a transplant and not native to the Carolina habitat. I really don't need further reason to not provide the link. So I won't. I'm sure he won't miss it, and I will still enjoy reading most of his posts...I hope. I've had my say about subject matter before. Until I loose my grip, I may as well shut up on the objectionable subject of objectionable subjects.

But anywho, over at Palmetto Pundit there's news of WMD's in Iraq, and SC Girly Grl seems to be wrestling with some of the same frootloops that I do. Napoleon over at The Life and Times of Mediocrity is on about an interesting lecture, if you plan to be in the Columbia SC area in mid September.

One, Two, and Three are doing well in their new environment, but no one seems to have decoded their names as yet. I didn't think it would be that difficult, or did I? I do have one totally uncoded message for a certain group of people in one particular Carolina city, "A genius who is a freaking lunatic is STILL a FREAKING LUNATIC! Putting your assets into the hands of a genius to handle... good move! Putting your assets into the hands of a lunatic to handle... really dumb! Putting your assets into the hands of a lunatic who happens to be a genius... STILL REALLY DUMB! Maybe TREMENDOUSLY STUPID even! Do we have to fly you to the moon for you to see it?

There, I feel better having that off my chest. Oh well. Time for me to head to work. You know, somewhere deep in my psyche, I think I actually harbor a desire to get lost while driving to work. That kind of thing tends to happen here rather commonly you know. Its just not that unusual of an event here, beneath the Carolina moon.

Dread

One Fish, Two Fish, Three Fish

Most days when I get an idea for the blog, I forget what it was by the time I can get to settle down at the keyboard. So today, I’m making a note or two as I go along and maybe tomorrow morning I’ll have sufficient notes to constitute a blog post. The greater question of course is not whether or not my post will evolve into existence, but rather, whether or not it ever should have. In other words, quality will be the central issue.

One of my notes involves the odd names of the fish that I introduced into the new water feature here at the homestead. The names I gave in the last post, are actually code names for their real names. Yeah I have code names for my fish. You can figure out their real names if you can figure out the clues in the post previous to this one and this one. It will all seem so much easier than it should, but don’t let that fool you. Are you game to take a go at figuring out the code and the three fish’s real names? How difficult can it be right? After all the fish are code named One, Two and Three.

Today I’m adding another Carolina blog link, “The Life and Times of Mediocrity”, written by Napoleon from Charleston. Napoleon says he will be leaving the Carolinas for at least three years. For me, that would really drag my soul in the dust. He will no doubt need the moral support of his family, friends, and all be it strangers, his fellow Carolinians. Well Napoleon, no matter where on this planet you go, you can always look up at night and know that the moon you are under is the same Carolina moon. Just be careful of the air and water you partake of, particularly in Europe, Central America, and New Jersey.

Loosing a fellow Carolinian from our geography is sad. Our culture takes a hit when even one pod of okra is taken from the soup mix. The Southern culture is an amazing thing. The Carolina culture is a miraculous thing. Subtracting just one thing from our harmonious stew can dramatically change flavors, appearances, how we know things, how we count things, weigh them, color our views. Can you imagine loosing one hour of every day, as if we happen to have one too many already?

Okay, our culture is not quiet that fragile; volatile maybe. Southerners do seem to have more heart attacks and domestic violence. At least half of that gets blamed on diet. I have my doubts, and my own theories. I suspect passion has a lot to do with both. Passions run hot and run deep here, even when they aren’t evident. That saying that a Southerner will smile and be gracious even when they are mad, right up to the split second before blowing your brains out, is true. At least its true, for true Southern people of culture. Bubbas are a different breed. They leave the trailer in the morning ready to shoot something, and carry the shotgun in the truck “just in case”.

We’ll save Bubbas for discussion on another day. They cause enough grief on the world without me cheering them on here. Now where was I? Oh yes; I think if my boss sends me just one more smarty mouth curt email… I’m smiling and trying my best to be gracious here… No wait, we were discussing Napoleon’s departure from the Carolinas. It’s a tragedy I tell you. He'll be a fish out of water, and we'll be one less in our Carolina fish school. Drop over to his blog and extend your sympathies. It’s the least a fellow Southerner can do for someone who must leave their place beneath the Carolina moon. The Life and Times of Mediocrity Then tell me my fish's real names... No I don't need to get a life. You'd be amazed how much fun this one is.

Dread

A Quick Think Around

Do you ever pause to think, "How did I get to where I am, and where the heck am I headed?" Of course you do. Then you shake it off and get busy again, without giving it a second thought. Those of us who lead unique lives don't have time to philosophize on end, but some of us do hit points in our lives that give us pause. I've been freeze framed for about a week or two now, and still haven't found a sufficient answer that will pull my feet back to the ground so I can get moving again. You can spot these pauses in a writers work if you look closely.

I asked four or five, five I think maybe, bloggers, all from the Carolinas, for permission to link their blogs here. My thinking is, bloggers from the Carolinas should all be listed in one place, and what better place than Beneath the Carolina Moon? Anywho, I've heard back from three. The fourth, David Terrenoire who writes the A Dark Planet blog hasn't responded, or didn't find my request buried in his comments of one day's or the other's post. Whatever. I had commented that David's blog posts had taken a turn away from his normal quality output. Happily with his Father's Day post, David cleared his throat and seems to be climbing back into the saddle. I'm not sure that regular employment wears well on David. It doesn't on many of us.

I spent much of my Father's Day piddling about the outdoors around my house. I polished off a whim project last night by adding three small koi to a water feature I tinkered into existence on Sunday. Sliding my two potted Japanese maples to either side of it, I also picked up two potted water lilies last night at Lowe's, and dropped them in. Now, I have more living creatures dependent on me. Just what I need! Gads! Anywho, the koi are named One, Two, and Three. For you politicos correcto bunch, you may refer to them as Uno, Dos, Trace. Since one of the Bush brothers married into the ethnic reservoir of Hispanics which spans from Spain, to the countries of South and Central America, to Puerto Rico, Cuba, South Florida, and pretty much South any part of North America, it seems that the Republican party is splitting along the lines of those who want to kick Hispanics out, and those who want to make all illegal immigrant Hispanics legal, to buy their vote for the Republican party. It's all nasty business I tell you. I hope in the end we can all get along. Time will tell.

Meanwhile visits to Palmetto Sweetheart's and SC Girly Grl's blogs points up to me the partitions we put up in our lives and how we sometimes compartmentalize, or only share from compartments. Palmetto Sweetheart is busy about activities and nest sorting. SC Girly Grl is about a personal place, in her heart, and conditions in the local political geography. Barry Ready's Palmetto Pundit continues to be pushed by his patriotism. There's nothing wrong with any of these compartments or directions of expression, its just an observation, that we are so complex that we can't communicate all of ourselves at once in one place. Quiet frankly, I'm glad. I would hate to be just simple. I would be bored. You would be bored. We would all be boring. However, we are not boring, except on occasion.

Click the links to the right and have a good read. Maybe you will get a whiff of our Southern essence. Maybe, you'll just mire deeper into the mystery of the Southern psyche. Either way, when you crawl into bed tonight, you won't be the same person that climbed out of that bed this morning. That's just the way it is beneath the Carolina moon.

Have a good day. I have other plans.

Dread