Social Gumbo Misfit

I’m still trying to figure what search engine result strategy that missing link blog of the transplanted damnyankee is trying. His subject matter has been all over the socially taboo ladder. It began with gay marriage, on to teen sex, to pubic styling, then Salma Hayek’s breasts were thrown in, although I wouldn’t consider Salma Hayek’s breasts specifically to be socially taboo. Like every other heterosexual male on the planet, I carried a crush on Salma from my first sighting of her, for onwards of a year. Every heterosexual male of age on the planet earth did the same and carries that secret. Reminding them of it is the social taboo. If I have to detail out why, then I will be crossing off taboos worse than the transplanted damnyankee. Of course being a hack artist, I have always appreciated the total beauty of women, Salma Hayek included. That’s common knowledge. But, I digress. Back to the transgression of the transplanted damnyankee. Of all the subjects of bad taste, the transplanted damnyankee has now moved to the subject of gumbo.

Normally, the subject of gumbo is a good thing. Gumbo is Southern stuff, and therefore, good stuff… very good stuff when prepared by someone who has the correct ingredients, knows how to combine them properly, and serves it all up hot. But the guy is actually on about freaking chicken gumbo! That’s just nasty! And it doesn’t even have all of the right ingredients in it! Who gives people the idea that for one, they can cook Southern food and have it turn out anything like a Southern cook’s food? And, two, what makes them think that the insane recipe that the original cook passed off to the damnyankee that thought they were getting an authentic recipe… (I’m starting to giggle) is a… (I’m really beginning to laugh) genuine for sure… (I’m dying laughing here) authentic recipe, as handed down for the past six generations of Southern cooks? (I’m rolling on the floor! Stupid tourists! And, this one stayed!)

Hello people! Let me tell you once and for all. Whatever recipe you got, it ain’t what they cooked for you! If you are a damnyankee transplant, it ain’t even nothing near what you had at the restaurant. Further, what could possibly ever qualify a damnyankee transplant as an expert on Southern foods? I got news for you. If you want authentic gumbo, come South… all the way to the coast! Shrimp gumbo, seafood gumbo, fish gumbo, whatever, even alligator makes good gumbo. But who want’s Tyson Farms force fed, cage raised, chicken gumbo? Who also in their right mind wants gumbo without okra? Is there such a thing as gumbo without okra? Only the kind they feed damnyankees! And that ain’t gumbo!

I won't be providing links to authentic gumbo recipes here. Every coastal town has at least two versions or more of gumbo. But people, let me tell you here and now, ain’t none of it gonna be found on the blog of a transplanted damnyankee. So that did it for good. Some transplanted damnyankee who lives inland (in a state not even known for gumbo) posting some recipe for gumbo as being representative of the best the South has to offer, just tips me over. I’m done, and done. Meanwhile, I’ve found another nice Carolina based blog to link, if the owner is willing. I’ve asked. And, I’m still looking for more to link here. So if you know of a Carolina based blogger, drop me a line and let me know. I enjoy reading them, and well, if a Carolina blog is going to be linked, shouldn’t it be linked from beneath the Carolina moon?

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