Who's Going to Kick the Top Off?

That humble structure in the picture above, that the girls are admiring and presumably photographing, is a fire ant hill. I love to kick the top off of fire ant hills and then, watch the scurrilous creatures scramble out in a panic ready to attack what is no longer there. They bite and snap at the air, grass, leaf stems and any object that gets in their way.

I hate getting bit by one of these little fatherless puppies, so when they appear on my lawn, I promptly dig them out and douse them with whatever the most potent insecticide I happen to have on hand is. Otherwise I tend to be environmentally friendly, and do as much as possible in a "green" way. But, to date, no one has proved to me that fire ants are an environmental necessity.

I believe that left to their own devices, fire ants would overrun the environment and through their mining operations, by bringing the sub terrain to the surface, eventually would, actually turn the world inside out. That could be disastrous! Do the world a favor, and kick the top off of a fire ant nest today. If you happen to kick it on someone you don't care for, like my next door neighbor... No. No. That wouldn't be the right thing to do, but try kicking the fire ant nest at least.

It's a fun job, and someone has to do it! Yesterday, I kicked the top off of a fire ant nest over at the Dark Planet, David Terrenoire's blog. David seems to be a dyed in the wool, liberal, and (I'm guessing) yellow dog Democrat. I on the other hand am a blurry mess of a moderate conservative. Yes the fence has hit me dead in the groin on many occasions, but I digress. I seem to have kicked the top off of a fire ant hill over on A Dark Planet. You can read it here A Dark Planet. After that, go have a great weekend, and do something constructive. Kick the top off of a fire ant hill. At least if you happen to be around here, beneath the Carolina moon.

Posted by Dread, who's made a living by pissing people off, since 1969!

I've Got Pictures! I've Got Pictures!

Yes. I'm still a bit miffed at my lunatic behaving neighbor. To briefly recap yesterday's post and the gist of things: My neighbor placed landscape stones on my property just outside of my front door, and in a haphazard childish attempt to form some sort of circle with them. I moved them back onto her property and she is threatening to sue me for doing so. I don't understand where her logic comes from, but maybe the pictures I feature today can contrast and reflect her mentality. I didn't use pictures that I have that actually show what is going on, because they may at some point be introduced as evidence in a court trial where I have to defend myself legally against this goofball.

The above picture shows the type of landscape stones in question, when they are applied properly. These stones in the above picture, are NOT in my neighbor's yard, but in another neighborhood.

The below picture, shows the beginnings of my neighbor's application of the stones in her garden. I think the picture says a lot about her mentality. These stones ARE in her yard.


Now please tell me how anyone can ugly up another persons property, by placing landscape materials on it, and then when the person returns the unwanted landscape materials, party one sues party two for what? Refusing an unwanted gift? Returning their neighbor's property? I know we have eccentrics here beneath the Carolina moon. Being southern, it's a duty to be eccentric, but even eccentrics have some logic. Heck! I'm eccentric, but I'm not loony! Am I?

Posted by Dread who thinks maybe he should have just sued the loony neighbor for defacing his property.

Disclaimer: All statements on this blog are opinions of events and conditions, and are placed here for entertainment value. Similarities between the events and people depicted here, and real people and events ARE INTENTIONAL!

Hissy Fit Is As Polite As It Gets

It was pointed out to me that my immediate past post was perhaps a bit overboard, and being without explanation, left the reader wondering just why I think my neighbor to be a lunatic. And so, I hereby modify my assertions.

My neighbor was, is, and probably always will be, in my humble opinion, a bossy biddy lunatic. What she did, was decide to landscape a bit on her front garden and got carried away with it, encroaching, obviously intentionally, way over onto my property. When you start landscaping in front of your neighbor's front door, you have to know you are trespassing. The very brass of this woman to landscape in front of my front door, without permission was bad enough, but her idea of landscaping is to put it mildly, dismal and putrid.

If you are familiar with those giant dyed concrete fake stones that are available from Home Depot, Lowes, and gardening centers, and then think rust red. Yeah, ugleeeeee! She had these things put in place, in a manner that wasn't plumb, square, or level. So, they were unsightly, tacky, and totally unwelcome. Her garden was, and still is, unsightly from the unevenly skewed, crooked stacked, fake, rust red, concrete stones, and so was the area in front of my front door. In any event, the stones were put in place, and then she left, without returning for days.

I decided to do a little landscaping of my property, so I stacked her stones back neatly on her property and started work. When I came home from work a few days later, the neighbor had returned. She promptly stormed out of the house and threw what we southerners call a glorified hissy fit.

The crazed woman charged out her front door, accusing me of moving the stones from another area of HER property and placing them in the stack I had made. When I tried to explain that I had moved them from MY property, she promptly replied that she was going to get a lawyer, file a law suit, and settle it in court. Of course she was screaming an yelling the whole time, hence my previous banshee comment.

No matter my calm explanations, she ranted and threatened, and finally, storming back into her house, and yelled as she was slamming the door, "I've got pictures! I've got pictures!". At that point, I finally lost my temper and yelled after her, "I hope you've got pictures of me moving them, you freaking idiot!" I don't think I made a lot of sense except for the freaking idiot part, but it was just what popped into my mind at the time.

I had taken a picture of the stones in front of my doorway, so I wondered, just what pictures she thought she had. No matter. The next day, she had a worker come and move the stones to the place she had accused me of moving them from. The only problem was, the back half of the line of stones was on my property. I said nothing, and when she left, I moved them forward to the edge of the property line. I haven't heard anything else from her yet.

I've been digging up and preparing a plant bed in the area of my property vacated by the stones. I love this place. I don't really give a flying fish if the crazy lady does sue me, because my picture, and plat map, would give a judge laughing convulsions. I just hate that I have a neighbor that I can't even be friendly with.

Okay, maybe the picture of the weirdo kissing a king cobra was overboard, and calling my neighbor a crazed raving banshee b_ _ ch was impolite, and unsouthern gentlemanly. Hissy fit throwing lunatic! From me, here beneath the Carolina moon, that's as polite as I get!

Posted by Dread who is posting a sign in the front yard saying, "WANTED, new neighbor! No hissy fit throwing lunatics need apply!"

Beneath A Full Carolina Moon

Yesterday and last night was a full moon, but the effects have been going for a week. It's been nuts at work and just about anywhere else I've been. Every lunatic that could be off a bit has been way, way, way, off! We are very close to the summer solstice, which occurs June 21, and having a full moon. Maybe the combination has wreaked havoc with the lunatic segment.

I chose the pic above to illustrate lunacy because I couldn't find an appropriate one. We don't have women here in the deep south that tend to kiss snakes, even the crazy ones. But, we do have some crazy ones that spew their own venom; like my next door neighbor for instance.

I won't get into it here, but just suffice to say she is nuts, and with the approaching solstice and the recent full moon's influence, she has been totally nuts and spewing venom like a spitting cobra. I wish she would kiss a cotton mouth moccasin on the lips; and vice-versa.

Now I'm being ugly. But hey; I call'em like I see'em. A lunatic by any other name is still a lunatic...a screaming lunatic no less.

Posted by Dread, who thinks "screaming lunatic" is a more polite term, although less accurate, than "crazed, raving, banshee bitch!"

Nature; Confusing, Amazing, Good and Bad

Sometimes nature can be bad while being good, confusing while beautiful, and always amazing. Last Friday upon leaving for work I spotted a snake skin beside the front steps. Several feet on down the front walkway lay a small king snake. It was about two and a half feet long. This is the fourth snake I've seen around the property this spring.

There were two different black snakes. I know they were different because the first one was larger than the second one. Then there was a green snake out by the back fence. Actually it was twinned in the fence links, but that's another story.

Miss N says having snakes around is bad, and that they are evil. I suppose that is so, but its also good that they are not poisonous snakes. The king snake will run off and even eat other snakes, especially the poisonous copperheads. Thankfully, I've not seen any of those, and with a king snake around, probably won't. Which is a good thing. So its a bad thing that is a good thing, I guess.

A mocking bird has taken up evening sentry duty in a tall dead tree on the vacant lot behind my back lot. It sings its heart out every evening until almost dark. It has a most remarkable vocabulary of songs from other birds. It has even learned, and frequently calls out with, the red shouldered hawk's mating call. I have a feeling that sooner or later this is going to cause some confusion in the bird world.

One afternoon in late winter, when I first saw one of the red shouldered hawks circling above the tree tops, I mistook it for a red tail hawk, which is also common here. I whistled a call several times, and a red tail flew in from an adjacent area. The two hawks didn't take kindly to each other in the same territory and a slight conflagration ensued. Both birds crashed into a ravine across the road, locked in a feather flinging froth of wings and talons. They then separated and each went their own wounded way.

I'm wondering and waiting to see what happens when that mocking bird hits on an evening when the red shouldered hawks are around. This confusion could be interesting, or amazing, or bad and, who knows, maybe good. Mocking bird calls in the evening, beneath the Carolina Moon.

Click the pic to enlarge it and find the mocking bird.

Posted by Dread, who finally steadied his hand enough to take the above "find the mocking bird pic."

I'd Rather Eat A Live Frog

I heard yesterday that Hillary Rodham Clinton was to meet private with Barack Hussein Obama. Then today I flipped on the TV and there was Hillary C spewing off about supporting Obama all the way and squealing like a high school cheerleader, leading the charge to the goal line for Obama. The newscaster said Mz Clinton had called off her campaign and endorsed Obama. That can only mean one thing; Obama has sold out to Clinton pressure and asked Hillary to be his VP candidate.

I don't know if it was because I had read Rosanne's essay, "Frog Giggers" early this morning on the Dew on the Kudzu ezine (which I will try to get linked here soon) and it had saturated my brain along with the extra doses of caffeine it took to get me shaken awake this morning, or maybe it's just the way I think. But, when I put the two and two together that what I suspected would happen, had already been arranged in a back room, and Obama and Hillary were to be running mates, I blurted, "I'd rather eat a live frog than vote for either of them, much less BOTH OF THEM!"

And so it goes. I'd rather eat a live frog. Fortunately, I won't have to. I, like you, have a choice. I plan to vote for John McCain and whomever he takes as a VP running mate. That's not as bad as eating a live frog, and it's a far sight better than voting for the most inexperienced and whacko devious duo to ever win a presidential/vice-presidential nomination of a major political party.

Unless we all wake up, this country is going the way of the fall of Rome. Obama-Clinton: Non Gratum Anum Rodentum. The south was right to have seceded from you damncrazyyankees. I can't imagine that here beneath the Carolina moon, either of these misfits would have ever been even given a passing glance for the United States Senate. We'd rather eat a live frog!

Posted by Dread, who has began shouting out his car window at strangers, "Obama Clinton; Non gratum anum rodentum!"

Another Weekend By The Water

The Devine Miss "N" took this pic on our foray last weekend to Lake Keowee, in the north east part of South Carolina. Looking at the emerald clear water of Lake Keowee in this pic, I am reminded that Emerald Falls is also somewhere in that vacinity. I just don't remember exactly where.

We had a lovely time relaxing and fishing off the bank. Miss N caught the most fish and the largest fish. I caught the least amount and the smallest fish. They were both the same fish. Yeah I only caught one, but it's all good. We had a really great relaxing time at the lake. This weekend, I don't know what we'll do yet. I'm sure we'll find something, here beneath the Carolina Moon.

Posted by Dread, who hopes the air conditioning holds up, because tomorrow it is supposed to be 99 degrees F.