Hissy Fit Is As Polite As It Gets

It was pointed out to me that my immediate past post was perhaps a bit overboard, and being without explanation, left the reader wondering just why I think my neighbor to be a lunatic. And so, I hereby modify my assertions.

My neighbor was, is, and probably always will be, in my humble opinion, a bossy biddy lunatic. What she did, was decide to landscape a bit on her front garden and got carried away with it, encroaching, obviously intentionally, way over onto my property. When you start landscaping in front of your neighbor's front door, you have to know you are trespassing. The very brass of this woman to landscape in front of my front door, without permission was bad enough, but her idea of landscaping is to put it mildly, dismal and putrid.

If you are familiar with those giant dyed concrete fake stones that are available from Home Depot, Lowes, and gardening centers, and then think rust red. Yeah, ugleeeeee! She had these things put in place, in a manner that wasn't plumb, square, or level. So, they were unsightly, tacky, and totally unwelcome. Her garden was, and still is, unsightly from the unevenly skewed, crooked stacked, fake, rust red, concrete stones, and so was the area in front of my front door. In any event, the stones were put in place, and then she left, without returning for days.

I decided to do a little landscaping of my property, so I stacked her stones back neatly on her property and started work. When I came home from work a few days later, the neighbor had returned. She promptly stormed out of the house and threw what we southerners call a glorified hissy fit.

The crazed woman charged out her front door, accusing me of moving the stones from another area of HER property and placing them in the stack I had made. When I tried to explain that I had moved them from MY property, she promptly replied that she was going to get a lawyer, file a law suit, and settle it in court. Of course she was screaming an yelling the whole time, hence my previous banshee comment.

No matter my calm explanations, she ranted and threatened, and finally, storming back into her house, and yelled as she was slamming the door, "I've got pictures! I've got pictures!". At that point, I finally lost my temper and yelled after her, "I hope you've got pictures of me moving them, you freaking idiot!" I don't think I made a lot of sense except for the freaking idiot part, but it was just what popped into my mind at the time.

I had taken a picture of the stones in front of my doorway, so I wondered, just what pictures she thought she had. No matter. The next day, she had a worker come and move the stones to the place she had accused me of moving them from. The only problem was, the back half of the line of stones was on my property. I said nothing, and when she left, I moved them forward to the edge of the property line. I haven't heard anything else from her yet.

I've been digging up and preparing a plant bed in the area of my property vacated by the stones. I love this place. I don't really give a flying fish if the crazy lady does sue me, because my picture, and plat map, would give a judge laughing convulsions. I just hate that I have a neighbor that I can't even be friendly with.

Okay, maybe the picture of the weirdo kissing a king cobra was overboard, and calling my neighbor a crazed raving banshee b_ _ ch was impolite, and unsouthern gentlemanly. Hissy fit throwing lunatic! From me, here beneath the Carolina moon, that's as polite as I get!

Posted by Dread who is posting a sign in the front yard saying, "WANTED, new neighbor! No hissy fit throwing lunatics need apply!"