A Beginning or a Test?

Yes the title of this post is a question. Using a question for a title is not an unusual habit of mine, so getting it on the table right from the beginning is probably a good idea. Readers can criticize it, get used to it, and get over it. Like many of my eccentricities, it may be obnoxious, but it is also harmless, and truly does little to denigrate the cultural state of humanity. I'm convinced that in some instances at least, the general American culture may actually incrementally rise a click of the ratchet above it's crass base of elitist snobism, by gaining a comfort level with one or more of my cultural semi-abnormalities. I was Southern by birth, and have remained so life long by choice. And, yes I capitalize Southern and Southerner. You other geographic areas may follow your own rules of grammar, punctuation, etc. I have my own.

The punctuation police are not welcome here. Well, actually, they are. They just don't have any authority to make arrests. The laws of punctuation are somewhat different in my world. Perhaps I will waste a post explaining those sometime, but just now I want to get this first one over with and done. After all, as you will learn, I am not about laws and rules as much as I am about life and living. And, as you will learn, I start sentences with "and" and "but" and a few other world naughty ways. In my world "because you shouldn't" isn't a good enough answer to "why not?".

Anywho, (another of my eccentric word usages you should get used to) being Southern by birth and remaining so by choice, I am obligated to be eccentric. Its a social responsibility all cultured and refined Southerners take seriously and typically demonstrate a lifelong commitment to. Many of us even demonstrate our commitment to the obligation while in the process or throws of dying. An eccentric death is a trademark of a refined eccentric Southern life well lived. I could give many fine examples just from my own family tree, but they would bore my fellow Southerners as common place, and perhaps shock outsiders to the South. So, since I want to neither bore nor chase off my potential readership with shocking offensiveness with my first post, I will only mention those eccentric deaths in future posts, within the fuller context of the lives they were attached to. At least that way, within context of their day to day lives, their deaths will make sense, and neither bore nor shock. And actually, I hope to keep death as an infrequent visitor to this blog. While it is a reality, it most certainly is, under most circumstances at least, unpleasant. And, I don't wish to be unpleasant here.

Sometimes I can be disagreeable, thought provoking even I am told, but unpleasant just isn't exactly what I want to be. One can after all, make a readership uncomfortable, and even on occasion agitate them somewhat, without being unpleasant about it. Civility is also the handmaiden of Southern eccentricity. With civility, one may tell another to just kiss their nether regions or to pursue eternity in a realm of fire and brimstone, and still not be crass.

One thing that gets my dander up is the growing assumption that Southerners are all crass Bubba Rednecks. Bubba Rednecks are actually a race of people spawned by inbreeding of damnyankee carpetbaggers who infused a New York ball park mentality on their offspring. Those people are not true Southerners. These unfortunate half breed lineage of French Canadian convicts who escaped to New York, Boston, and other regions of the northland US of A before invading the South and our gene pool, are driven by their crossed gene pool to be crass, and are rightly so the butt of many jokes. But make no mistake, they are not of true Southern lineage.

A true Southerner will most likely be of Scotch, German, English, or African-East Indian decent, coupled with Native American, Georgia convict, and alligator heritage. We are a refined and cultured people, eccentric for sure, but devoid of crassness. On most occasions, we will continue to smile while you insult and belittle us, and act with graciousness while you smugly try to make fool of or take advantage of us. In fact we will usually do so right up to the the split second before we blow your brains out. Unfortunately, the offenders usually never gain the opportunity to realize that we're not as dumb or gullible as you thought. Those who get the lesson are all dead. The rest of world of smug damnyankees still don't have a clue of what they are dealing with when engaging a true Southerner. The future posts here may clear that matter up, at least somewhat, for those who care to give thought to the subtle insights that hopefully will find their way here. At any rate, I have run the clock with my scribbles here to the hour which I must pry myself from the keyboard and prepare for a workday. Until next time, from beneath the Carolina moon, I bid you well.

Dread