Reality and ?

Oh my, Wendy's chili! I had a large serving as a late supper Saturday night. It was tasty. I remember when I was eating the chili wishing that I had a second large serving. That would've been perfect. The second serving would have killed me and I wouldn't have had to suffer the effects of the first. Need I describe my Sunday? Don't worry I won't. Suffice to say my Sunday was not anything like my plan for it, nor anything like I had anticipated. Nothing seems to be quiet as I anticipate lately, which, may or may not be a good thing, according to circumstances and expectations.

Even when things turn out on the plus side, and I expected them to, they seem to turn out positive in ways that are different than I anticipated. That's not a bad thing. I like being pleasantly surprised. Its just the last week or so has made my insightfulness look not so insightful. Which maybe that's not a bad thing either. I should quit relying so much on my own judgment and listen closer for what God has to say, and or just operate more on simple faith. Despite seemingly expanding or experiencing growth in my spiritual aspects over the past year or two, I also seem to be at another spot much like I was with the smoking, where maybe I'm holding on and need to turn loose? Yes I'm asking. I don't clearly have my finger on it.

There are things I wrestle with. There are moral questions with which I wrestle also. The worst thing I wrestle with is myself, or at least it seems that way. I wonder though how much we subconsciously sabotage ourselves. Why in the world did I pick to eat Wendy's chili? Just sudden whim? Softer food since I am waiting to have dental work completed on molars of both sides of my mouth made sense. But, Wendy's chili? It wasn't a conscious decision, to trip out my stomach, but I do have to think it was certainly a short sighted decision. I had planned to pick out a church I had never attended and visit Sunday Morning. Maybe I subconsciously stopped myself, as we used to say as kids, accidentally on purpose. I have to consider that.

Or maybe it was something else. I do have a high degree of Attention Deficit Disorder and tend to do impulsive things. Or it could have been for some other subliminal intent that all of the stomach disruption and queasy feelings came about. We poison and sabotage our lives in other ways with worse than chili, and produce outcomes with lasting implications. Whatever the case, yesterday is history. Any ripples it will cause are set loose. I have today to deal with. God has given me a brand new day to unwrap and use. I should be up and about it.

A thought just spilled through my brain. I'll share it. "We spend our lives trying to shape other peoples' realities so that they will accommodate our reality as we would like to make it." There has to be more to this or a tweaking needed, but just now, I must prep and take off to work. I'll think on this later, I have a plate full of reality already to sort and deal with.